But herein lies the problem.
After a marathon practice session of 8hrs playing only the ragam kamboji, I came face to face with a startling reality.
I remember coolkarni mentioning an anecdote where his father asked him to determine if t.n.krishnan really soaks his bow in honey before concerts. I found that I don't have a problem playing the alapana or rendering a difficult (but also majestic) dikshitar composition in kamboji but the so called "magic" is lacking. All I need to do is to put down my violin and press play on the computer to bring me down to earth while listening to lalgudi belting out some magical swaras with mmi or t n krishnan literally "sing" a pallavi on the violin.
Im not trying to compare my playing with that of those two great souls. No, No - but I was just trying to get an idea of why their bows produce the magic that they do. Thinking abt this for a long time yesterday I came to the conclusion that they werent really playing the violin. They merely made the violin an extension of their vocal chords.
Let me explain what I am trying to say here. You see when I play the violin, there was a time when I learned all the songs by just swaras alone. The first few songs and varnams that I learnt, ex. vathapi, deva deva (mayamalava), ramanannu (harikambodhi) were all learnt and still remembered in my brain as Ga;; Ri; Sa; - Sa; ri ga; m - and Pa ma ga; ga... i.e. just the swarastanas alone. As I became a more advanced student, I finally learned to play sangathis by the ear but it seems that the old crutch of just playing the swaras refused to go away. Especially on complicated sangathis, the sahitya in my head dissapears and I am once again just working through swaras with sahitya bowing so to speak.
I am not saying that I do that all the time but it happens more often than I would like and I am wondering whether this is a direct result of the way I initially learned or whether it is something every student faces before moving on to the "next level". The reason is that in western music there are methods like suzuki that emphasise playing by the ear and there is the traditional way that starts from musical notation and somewhere along the lines the two methods merge and the end product of both the schools are exemplary violinists who can not only play brilliantly by looking at notation but also pick up sangathis by ear.
Is it the same case with our music as well? I hope so.
